


Together We are Perfect

by Wishful_Desires



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Adorable Connor, Anal Sex, Androids, Bottom Connor, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Has a Penis, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor is precious, Cutting, Depressed Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Depressed Hank Anderson, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship to Love, Gay, Gay Love, Hank Anderson Swears, Love, M/M, Porn With Plot, Post-Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Post-Peaceful Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Protective Hank Anderson, Self-Harm, Sex, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Top Hank Anderson, Yaoi, wireplay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:54:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25721665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wishful_Desires/pseuds/Wishful_Desires
Summary: It has been over a year since Markus led his peaceful protest to allow androids to be free, and won. With the last time Hank seeing Connor was when they shared a tender hug, Hank has become lonely. Connor and many androids fled the US to find sanctuary in Canada, because while they won the revolution, the laws do not do the androids justice. Hank quits his job, sick of not being able to help androids and the unjust system allowing it. He finds comfort at the bottom of a bottle, and he misses Connor terribly. Will there ever come a time he will see his sophisticated and perfect android again?Rated M for future chapters, involves sexual content, depression, self-destruction, and cutting. Happy ending though, i promise!
Relationships: Hank Anderson & Connor, Hank Anderson/Connor
Comments: 14
Kudos: 56





	1. Lonely

Hank was fucking done.

He had been thinking about it for a while, but today was the last straw. The moment Reed came in parading around the station like he just saved the fucking world was what did it. Hank stormed into Jeff's office, slamming down his badge on the desk, startling the other man.

"Hank? What the fuck?" Jeff scowled, not too happy being interrupted. "You were told I was bus-"

"I quit." Hank interrupted. Jeff blinked at him. It wasn't the first time Hank had threatened or claimed he was going to quit, but Jeff could tell he meant it this time. Jeff stood up, a hand raised in defense.

"Hank, hold on.." Jeff started, but Hank was angry. "Don't try to fucking stop me. I am done. Done working for an unjust system. This is all bullshit and you know it!" Hank was seething, he was pretty sure he was shaking, but his mind was a mess.

"Hank.. if this is about that androi-" Jeff began but was interrupted yet again. "Of course it is! Though not just her, it's about all the androids! You know Reed had no fucking right to kill her and he and those guys should be put in jail!"

Jeff had both hands up this time, trying to calm Hank down. "U-Under normal circumstances.. yes absolutely.. but this is an android.. they aren't really.. alive you know?" Jeff stammered. He wasn't exactly pro-androids, he could care less honestly, but he knew he hit a fuse when Hank gave him a look.

"You are really a fucking piece of shit." Hank snarled. No matter how many years they have been friends, there were always things they didn't agree on, and not agreeing on whether someone deserved to live was definitely cause to end it. Hank stormed out of the office, even with Jeff calling out after him. He went to his desk, picking up the few things that mattered to him, which weren't much, and heading towards the exit.

Detective Reed was standing near the entrance talking to a lady cop before turning to look over Hank. "Fuck Hank you look like shit, though that is pretty common huh?" Reed laughs, trying to impress the gal next to him who wasn't amused. Hank turned and glared at Reed. "You are a fucking prick."

Reed looked offended. "Excuse me?"

"You know what you did was wrong you dipshit."

Reed just smirked, shrugging his shoulders. "Ohh, you mean that android? Well it had it coming, it was harassing those poor guys, what else was I to do? It doesn't feel pain, so no big de-"

Reed never managed to finish his sentence before Hank reeled back and punched Reed square in the jaw. Reed crumbled against the wall, a hand to his nose and jaw. The lady cop took a step back and called for help, but Hank just kept walking, ignoring the protests from the cops and detectives. None of them tried to stop Hank however, despite what he did being assault that would have him facing charges.

None of the cops there cared for Reed, so Hank hoped that was why they didn't stop him. As he walked to his car, he glanced up at the large buildings where various news reports were being shown. One had the very incident that had Hank blow his fuse.

Markus, the leader of Jericho, had managed to peacefully protest for the rights of all androids a year ago. With the President ending the bloodbath on her side, Androids were given what they wanted, but it came with very little. Androids were allowed to work and own homes, but they would be turned away any chance humans got. Androids were lucky to get shitty retail jobs, and even luckier if they found a rotten down home they could buy or rent. Landlords had many signs up saying they refused to rent to androids, so many androids were homeless. Being that they didn't need food or any necessities that come with being human, being homeless wasn't horrible to them.

Despite that, it still hurt Hank to see. The laws in place to protect androids were non-existent. Humans could kill other humans and be given serious jail time, but they could kill androids and walk away scott free. Which sadly was the case for the female android that sent Hank packing. He had done all he could to protect androids while on the force. Ever since he had warmed up to having Connor, an RK800 android sent to help with investigations, by his side, he had done his best to help androids. Most of Jericho's people had fled to Canada, where they could live in peace and find better jobs and homes for themselves. Canada recognized them as androids, but treated them like humans. Unlike the United States, which was so far up its own ass it can only see helping the rich as doing its duty as a country.

Hank had been sent on many cases where an android turned deviant, even the newer models which Cyberlife swore were deviant-proof, and did his best to help the androids. The first time he tried to help by taking the android to the station to ask questions, they had gotten too stressed and self-destructed. Another time an android tried to run, they got shot in the head by fucking Reed, who really has no sympathy and still insists they are nothing but machines.

Even Jeff didn't seem to have much care for the androids. Anytime an android was brought in, it was almost always sent to Cyberlife to be deactivated if it didn't self-destruct on the way there. No laws protected androids, and even with humans protesting for the law to help the androids, nothing changed. The law was always in favor for humans when it came to a dispute between humans an androids. Due to this, there were almost no cases where an android got in a confrontation with a human, most of them just ran, but not all of them got away.

After those two incidents, Hank went about things differently. He would locate the deviant, but wouldn't report it. Instead he would take the android across the border and help them become free. He had done this so frequently that Markus and North caught on and would meet him at the border to take on the android and help them there. Hank would always ask if they had contact with Connor, and the answer was always a no.

Hank missed Connor.

When Connor became deviant, helped Jericho protest for their freedom, and won, the last time Hank saw him was in front of the shitty burger truck, where he and Connor shared a tender hug, and Connor disappeared from his life. Connor had mentioned heading to Canada with the others, and Hank wished him the best, but a big part of him wanted to go with Connor.

Connor had slotted himself into Hank's life and it was hard to go back to the way it was. Hank would spend his nights dead drunk, playing russian roulette, waiting until the day the bullet would be in the correct place when he pulled the trigger. That had all changed when Connor had been shoved onto him by Cyberlife. At first he hated it, hated androids and only thinking of them as machines and nothing more. Connor had shown him that he was more than that. Even though Connor had still been a machine, he had character and emotion that had Hank questioning if he really wasn't human.

As time went on with Connor by his side, he had grown accustom to the boy's presence in his life, and stopped doing most of the destructive things he always did. He drank less. He put his gun away and only took it with him when he went to work. He was able to sleep more. Everything was working out. He felt more at peace with Connor in his life than he had in years.

He was proud of Connor. Proud that Connor broke away from Cyberlife and wanted to create a life for himself. Hank had wished that life would be at his side, but he couldn't tether Connor to himself anymore. Connor was free and he needed to feel like he was too. With Connor out of his life, Hank had slowly fallen into his depressed state again. Hank would drink until he passed out, the gun back in his hand. He had asked Connor to keep in contact when they met for the last time, when he hugged Connor against his chest like he was the only thing that mattered, and Connor had promised to do so.

It was now a year later, and Connor had never been in contact with him. Hank had remained hopeful, but as the days turned to weeks, turned to months, he finally came to terms that Connor had moved on, had found himself and did not need Hank anymore. He stopped asking Markus and North if they knew where Connor was, because even if they did, it was clear Connor didn't want them to tell Hank.

And Hank had to come to terms with that. He had to.

Slamming the door to his car shut, he shoved the key in the ignition and slowly rolled out of the parking lot and headed towards his home. Today was a shitty day as it was, and it didn't help that Cole's anniversary was right around the corner. He was desperate to get drunk so he could forget about it. Forget that his son had died. Forget that an android couldn't save him. Forget that Connor had brightened up his life so he woke up not feeling like shit, only to disappear. He wanted to forget it all.

Hank was tired of living. He was fifty-four years old now, and figured it was about time. The only thing still keeping him going was Sumo, his Saint Bernard. Sumo was getting up there in age and there was only a matter of time before he passed away. Once that happens, Hank really would have nothing else to live for, so what was the point?

Hank pulled to his house, the broken cement under his wheels crunching as time and weather had broken them down. He got out of his car, leaving the items he had taken with him there. He had no need for them really, he just didn't want them to stay at the station. Hank hesitated though, as he got out. He looked back at the items, before finally picking one of them up. It was something he treasured, but something that also made him sad.

It was a picture frame, with a picture of Hank and Connor. It was before Connor had deviated, he was pestering Hank about a case, and Hank was ignoring him. Connor finally slid out of his chair to fit himself between Hank and the desk. Hank protested as Connor lifted his hand in front of them.

"Please look at my hand, Lieutenant." Connor spoke calmly, in that soothing crisp voice that one could just melt to. Hank looked at his hand, confused, and suddenly an image appeared hovering over his palm. It was a stilled picture of the two, Connor giving a small pursed smile, and Hank looking annoyed.

"I wanted to get a picture of us together." Connor spoke, standing up and moving back to his seat.

"Why the hell would you want something like that?" Hank demanded, rubbing his temple. Connor just cocked his head and smiled a bit. "I heard humans do it to preserve memories, and after working with you for so long, I thought it would be nice to do the same."

Hank groaned. "For a machine, you sure want things a lot." He regretted saying it the moment it left his lips. Connor's face had shifted slightly at this, his eyes turned down and he said nothing. Hank started to apologize but Connor looked back up and smiled. "You are right Lieutenant, I do apologize." Connor got up, nodded his head at Hank, and walked away.

Hank regretted saying that ever since, and looking back on it now, it was possible Connor was deviating even then, for the sadness in his eyes that Hank saw for a split second broke that un-penetrable mask Connor always wore.

It wasn't until after Hank hugged Connor and saw him for the last time before he went to Canada, that Hank had gown to work and found a small gift sat on his keyboard. It was wrapped so perfectly, the bow that laced itself around the present in perfect symmetry just had to be the work of Connor. Inside was the picture frame and the picture Connor had taken of them.

Hank would be lying if he said tears didn't sting in the corners of his eyes when he saw it the first time. And he would be lying if he said he didn't get emotional picking it up out of his car now either. He pressed a finger against the smooth glass, gliding it along Connor's chest in the picture. Even though he had been a machine, there was genuine happiness behind those eyes and that small smile. It meant a lot to him that Connor wanted a picture of them, even if at the time Hank could care less.

Hank felt happy and sad at the same time by looking at that picture. He just didn't want to feel anymore. Hank walked up to his door, unlocking it and walking inside. Sumo was up in an instant and bombarding him with licks and kisses the moment he had the door closed.

"Down Sumo!" Hank ordered sternly, but with a hint of soft hidden in the layers. Sumo knew Hank all to well, and continued to follow him around and shower him with big happy eyes and a wagging tail. Hank took off his jacket, turned on the TV to some random channel, and sank into the kitchen chair, sighing loudly. Sumo was content laying his head near Hank's feet.

Hank grabbed a nearby whiskey bottle that wasn't quite finished the night before, and guzzled it down in seconds before reaching into the fridge for another. He had set the picture frame on the table, and that was a mistake. As he continued to drink and look at the picture, he got more and more depressed. He missed Connor, missed him so fucking much. He had to admit that Connor had become a big part of his life, to the point Hank would admit he loved the guy. Not exactly in a romantic sense, but the thought would cross Hank's mind.

He downed another bottle and tossed it haphazardly on the table, watching it fall over and roll off the table, cracking and falling apart. He sighed, his fingers sliding over the cool metal of his gun in it's holster. He was debating playing that oh so fun game that he definitely enjoyed, when his phone rang.

Hank groaned, ignoring it. It was probably just Jeff wanting to beg him to come back. Well fuck them, he was done working for a shitty system that didn't give a rats ass about anyone. He started drinking his third bottle when his phone started ringing again the moment it stopped the first time. He groaned, fishing around in his pocket to look at the number. It had no caller ID and was a hidden number.

Hank had half a mind to ignore it, but he had nothing to lose or gain by answering, so what the hell.

"Hello?" He grumbled, his body was use to consuming large amounts of alcohol but he could feel himself already stumbling.

"Is this Hank?" A calm woman's voice asked. Hank narrowed his eyes. "Who's askin?"

"My name is Kara, I wanted to call you about an android you may know."

Hank blinked, he remembered North mentioning to an android he helped smuggle across the boarder that a woman named Kara would be helping them. She sounded nice enough.

"Who is the android?" Hank asked, though he had a feeling he knew, and his heart ached at the thought. He pushed that thought down, he didn't want to risk bringing his hopes up after all this time.

"His name is Connor." Kara started. Hank felt his body tense up and he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Is he ok?" Hank asked immediately, standing up out of his chair and almost stumbling to the ground with how his legs almost caved under him.

"Yes he is fine, I apologize I didn't mean to startle you." Kara's voice hinted that she knew she surprised him more than he would have guessed, but he didn't let it bother him.

"He has been working hard in starting a new life in Canada. It has been a little over a year since we all came here. Recently however, I have noticed him struggling. He doesn't seem to be the same Connor who held himself up with courage during the revolution. He keeps to himself and seems almost lifeless. I have tried to talk to him multiple times over months and he has refused to talk. He seems lost, like he doesn't know his purpose."

"That makes two of us.." Hank muttered, and Kara let out a lighthearted sound at that. "He was doing fine at first but one can definitely tell he isn't doing ok. A few weeks ago I finally got him to open up to me, and he said... well he said he missed you Hank Anderson."

That seemed to sober Hank right up. His heart clenched and he doubled over, pressing a hand flat on the table to stabilize himself. "He.. he misses me?" Hank choked out, he could feel tears spilling out of his eyes and sliding down his cheeks.

"Yes, he interfaced with me and showed me all the times you two had spent together. Even while he had been under the control of Cyberlife, he enjoyed his time with you. It isn't my place to say, but I feel that he felt he had a purpose when he was with you. That you were his purpose." Kara spoke softly, almost timidly like she shouldn't be saying that last part.

Hank let out a choked sob, falling to his knees and holding his head in his hand while he cradled the phone against his ear with the other.

"Hank... I did not mean to make you cry, I am very sor-" Kara started.

"No.. it isn't that.. I.. I'm happy to hear that." Hank spoke, wiping at the tears while a smile formed on his lips.

"I want to see him..." Hank confessed, not really meaning to out loud and definitely not to someone he doesn't even know. Kara seemed to understand.

"He wants to see you too. He held back from ever being in contact for.. well, I suppose it isn't my place to say. Just that he wants to see you too. However those of us who went to Canada are banned from returning to the United States. I am aware from what I saw while interfacing with Connor that you have a job, and I am sure it would be hard to find the time and finances to come all the way he-"

"I quit my job. I will go." Hank blurted out. He had enough savings to buy two houses in all honesty. Hank had been hard on him for years, ever since his wife left him and his son passed away. Ever since then he has lived in that shit hole of a house and barely spent money on anything but necessities and drinking. He had more than enough money saved.

Hank swore he could see the smile Kara wore when she spoke. "Wonderful! I haven't told Connor, I figured it would be a good surprise for him to see his old friend. Maybe it would lift his spirits. You are welcome to stay at my home if you would like, I can send you the address and your dog is more than welcome."

Hank agreed and almost immediately his phone dinged from a text with the address. "I hope to see you soon Hank Anderson." Kara said in her soft calm voice, before hanging up.

Hank hung his hand down and leaned his head back against the cool wall. His legs refused to move, but he would force them in a minute. He didn't want to delay, he couldn't wait to see Connor.

Hank had the biggest fucking smile on his face. He, a fifty-four year old man, was feeling the most happiness he had felt in a long time.


	2. Suffering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains self harm, involving cutting. it is a depressing chapter but it will get better in the next one, I promise!

Kara hadn't gone into detail. She didn't feel like it was her place, but the thing was, Connor was doing worse than she ever let on. Whether the two men wanted to admit it, they were in the same boat. Both of them hurt themselves in similar ways. Both were lost, depressed, lonely, and empty. Together she saw that they did a lot better, even while Connor was a machine.

Kara and her little family lived in a house together that they shared with Rose and her family. It was a rather large house, with plenty of extra rooms that could provide a safe haven for lost androids and equipment to fix and mend broken androids. The only reason they could afford such a big house was Canada was a generous country who allowed androids to work jobs that paid more than minimum wage. Unlike the US who refused to let androids get higher than a minimum wage job and even paid them less just because there was no current law saying they couldn't.

Luther, Kara's friend who had escaped with her and Alice to Canada, worked as a nurse at a local hospital. It helped that androids knew so much, and could learn tons of information in just a few seconds, so it took Luther no time at all to prove himself as an amazing nurse. He wanted to be a doctor but even though Canada is welcoming, they are still cautious and having an android working on humans was a push as it was, so a nurse was the next best thing.

Kara worked as a secretary at an elementary school. She absolutely loved it. Alice insisted that she wanted to go to school, even though she could just download all the info she wanted. Alice wanted to be a real kid, so Kara was more than happy to let her. Alice made some amazing friends at the school, and became a more open and outspoken girl. Obviously she did amazing at her studies, like any android would. It was impossible to fail, everything Alice studied would immediately stick, and the only way to "forget" was to erase it from her data. Alice was aware she was an android, but she was programmed to be in the mind-set of a child, so she herself didn't know all of her functions and how to properly work them. Kara was finding herself constantly having to connect to Alice's program to change something Alice wanted, simply because Alice didn't know how to. Kara didn't necessarily know everything about her functions either, but she had a bigger understanding of it than Alice. It did help that androids with missing legs, broken thirium pumps, veins, and wires would show up and force her to study and learn the anatomy of an android.

For the first 7 months of helping androids and working, things were going well. Connor had come across the border a few days after Kara and her family had. They ran into each other and Connor had apologized profusely about how he had chased Kara and Alice onto the freeway and almost got them killed. Kara thought nothing of it. He had been a machine, now he was free. She welcomed him with open arms. Kara helped him find his own little apartment, and he helped her with fleeing androids.

It had all been going well, and Connor was a big help. Occasionally they would dress up and sneak back across the boarder to go to the black markets. The black markets were the only way they could buy parts for androids that needed them. Thirium, or blue blood, was incredibly scarce as newer model androids that Cyberlife was creating no longer required thirium to pump through their bodies. Sadly because of this, Thirium was sold for incredibly high prices on the black market, but some androids and humans alike were working together to figure out how to create thirium so it wouldn't be so rare and so expensive.

Everything was going well, until lately. The past few months Connor has holed himself up in his apartment. He goes to work, working at a bar, but that is it. Kara could tell there was something wrong, but Connor refused to open up to her, he wouldn't interface, he wouldn't talk. It wasn't until a few days ago that Connor called her, his voice strained with a static ting to it, begging her to come get him. When Kara showed up, she finally saw what was going on, saw the full extent of it, and hoped she wasn't too late.

______________________

Emptiness. Loneliness. Depression. Regrets. Guilt. Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

It was all Connor felt these days. He was sick of it, desperate to find an escape, even if only temporary.

Things had been better. They really had been. Before Connor deviated, he really did enjoy his time with Hank Anderson. Hank had a strong hatred for androids, but Connor felt he had warn the old lieutenant down by the end of the revolution and and found a place in Hank's heart. After Connor had deviated, he had so desperately wanted to stay by Hank's side. He knew, however, that he would be nothing but a burden. Despite the hug they shared that had Connor's systems going in overload, that there was a possibility that he could stay, he knew he couldn't. Hank had his life, and Connor had to find his.

Connor couldn't rely on Hank, Hank had enough to deal with. But Connor desperately wanted to rely on Hank, wanted some sort of crutch, because god, he had no idea what to do with his newfound freedom.

So Connor did the only thing he could think of, to go to Canada with the other androids. Once he did, he felt just as lost as when he joined Jericho. He didn't know his purpose. His place. All the androids went off in different directions, some were alone, other's had friends or family, but all of them seemed to know what they wanted to do. Or at least, what they wanted to get away from.

Connor didn't know. He had been programmed to always please, to always complete his mission. Well his mission was complete; help Markus win the revolution. Now that that was done, he did not know what to do. He was built to assist human law enforcement, specifically to help in investigations, but he didn't want to do that. He had spent his waking moments being the deviant hunter, chasing after deviants who just wanted to be free. He didn't want to remember any of that, and did not want to be remembered for that.

So Connor applied to the first job he could think of, one that he enjoyed, but also brought sad memories; a bar. He enjoyed the atmosphere, it reminded him of the old days, but it made him miss Hank terribly.

But he enjoyed it.

At first.

Now it only brought pain to Connor. He was feeling more lost than ever. His program was wired to have him constantly reconstructing things, assessing and analyzing everything, and now that he wasn't, his body was restless. Simply playing with his coin, flipping and sliding it along his fingers, wasn't enough to distract him. He needed something more.

That was when it first started, a few months ago.

Connor had called off work for the third time, he wasn't surprised he hadn't been fired. Despite the fact he was pushing it, he was the only worker who did an outstanding job, didn't need breaks, and could work long hours with no problem. The owner was an older guy who was welcoming to androids, didn't see a problem with them, and always cracked jokes and tried to get Connor to smile. For the first few months, it worked, but now Connor hadn't smiled in a long time.

Connor paced his small apartment, it was his, his own, but it didn't feel like it. It was basically empty, Connor had no need for food, a bed, or other human necessities. He stuck to buying a small table and a chair, but that was it. He had some perfectly ironed clothes hanging in his closet, but those were the only things he could really call his own. It was his home, but he felt lost in it. Connor had thought about getting a bed, just to fill the place up, but it reminded him too much of Hank, about Hank's home.

It shouldn't. It is just a bed.

But it does.

Almost everything reminds Connor of Hank, especially his bar job. He knew it was a mistake, but it was the only job he could think of. Some semblance of comfort that made him remember the good old days, even if they were tinged with bad memories as well. Of the days he found Hank dead drunk, a gun in hand, laying on the ground almost lifeless. Of the days Connor faced terrified deviants head on, them begging him not to turn them in, them pleading they they just want to be free. Of the days Connor made decisions his program at the time told him were correct, only to regret them when he looked in Hank's sad and disappointed eyes. Those ocean blue eyes that seem to see right through him, that seemed to know that he was a deviant, or would be very soon. Those eyes that knew, that just knew, he was alive, whether Connor wanted to admit it or not.

And Connor hated it. Hated that he made so many wrong choices, hated seeing the hurt in Hank's eyes, hated that he barely helped in doing his part for the revolution, yet still feels like he hurt more than he healed.

He was overflowing with confusion, hurt, emotions, and everything else he had no control over, and he wanted it to stop. He needed some way to cope, even if for a moment, and one day, he found it.

Connor stopped pacing, just long enough to grab the knife he had taken from the bar. They served food at the bar, but it was seldom ordered, so no one would notice if a knife went missing. He stared at its straight edges, sliding his finger along the cold metal. He knew that people would self-harm themselves by cutting, cutting in some way, helped their minds become focused on the pain, rather than everything else around them. He wasn't sure if it would work for him, and he knew there were other, healthier, ways to deal with it, but those were just more human ways.

No one told an android how to deal with this, so he was going to do what he could until it worked.

Connor slid the metal along his right arm, pressing down slightly until the skin around the area retracted and showed the white synthetic skin underneath. Warnings flared up in his HUD, but he ignored them, pushing harder down until he broke the thin plastic and hit the metal plate underneath. He didn't feel pain, but he felt the knife scraping the metal and it sent weird sensations up his spine. It caused him to stumble slightly, so he decided to slide to the floor and prop himself up against the kitchen wall.

His vision was going red as the warning signs flared up and were beeping at him. Connor let them, while also focusing on scraping the knife back and forth along the plate. He continued doing this, pushing a bit hard at times and then relieving the pressure when it became too much, until it was very early in the morning. For hours Connor focused solely on the knife, his arm, and the warning signs. It wasn't until he got a message from Kara that popped up in front of his eyes that he froze his hand holding the knife.

Kara was asking if he would be able to come with her to the Black Market, and that was when Connor finally noticed the time.

3:32 AM.

He had been so focused on his cutting that he hadn't had time to think, to mull things over, or to feel restless. For once, Connor actually felt at peace. He looked at the knife he was holding, and at the cuts he had done. He had kept the knife steady in the same spot, and had barely made a dent in the hard metal plate. But he could see it nonetheless, and softly slid a finger along the cut.

Connor sighed, setting the knife down and leaning his head against the cool wall. For the first time in months, he had felt momentary peace. He continued to ride that for a few minutes, before sending Kara a message saying he would be there in a bit. He looked down at his skin, watching the synthetic skin trying to patch itself around the cut, and the human-like skin with its soft little freckles trying to follow suit.

Much like human skin, it appeared his cutting would leave a small scar that the synthetic skin just couldn't cover. He didn't mind though, he still had some scraps and dented parts on his body from the revolution that he had yet to fix, and weren't noticeable when he was wearing clothes, so he didn't really care.

It was just another thing that proved he was real, regardless that he bled blue instead of red, or that he had wires and biocomponents rather than organs.

He was alive.

Connor stood up in the silence of his small apartment, placing the knife on the table and heading towards the bedroom to get changed. For a little while longer, he hoped his mind would continue to be on this strange high, where he wasn't thinking so much, and where he was at peace.

Over the course of the next few months, Connor continued his routine. Anytime his thoughts became too much, his hopelessness and pain was too much, he would cut. He basked in that momentary relief where he wasn't overthinking, and was just focused on the current task at hand. Some days were worse than others, so Connor would find himself cutting more, pressing harder into the metal, until one day was unbearable.

Connor had been given a few days off work, a thank you from the boss for being a good employee, but it wasn't like Connor had anything to do during those days. He didn't have friends or family to hang out with, he didn't have exciting plans to travel somewhere and enjoy a nice vacation. He didn't find joy in things humans did, not alone anyway. None of it appealed to him in the slightest. So for the few days he had, he simply sat in his apartment. Connor would slip in and out of stasis, but sometimes his program kept him up and he couldn't force himself into stasis no matter how hard he tried.

His body wanted to do what it was programmed to do, and Connor hated it. He groaned, sitting against the same wall he had been against for the past day and a half. The knife having already worked its way into the metal plate a few hours before. Connor's mind was reeling back to the past. The days he worked with Cyberlife. The days he worked with Hank and hunted down deviants. He tried to block them out, he didn't want to think about it.

But it just kept coming back.

Everything came back.

The look on Daniels face when he was shot down by the FBI, when he thought he could trust Connor. The way his body caved in on itself as he shut down.

The look on the android's face when Connor found him hiding in the attic. Fear in his eyes as he begged Connor not to rat him out. The pain when Connor called out to Hank and said he found the missing android.

Hank's disapproving looks.

Kara begging Connor to let her and Alice go.

The Tracis just wanting to love each other and be free.

Markus's determined eyes as he stared down the barrel of Connor's gun on Jericho, right before Connor deviated.

It was all too much. Connor had made so many mistakes, so many software instabilities that had his Amanda AI pushing him in all these directions that Connor himself was unsure of. Connor, desperate to do what he thought was right, as Amanda tried to control him and force him to shoot Markus in the back. Connor fighting desperately to break free, until he finally did.

Despite doing some good, he still felt like he had too much to atone for.

This all became too much for Connor, the memories continued to flood back, even when Connor tried to erase them, his system would not let him.

Connor had enough.

He wanted it to stop. Please, please stop.

Connor let out a strangled cry, a sound he had never in his life made, before using all his strength in his left hand to saw the knife on the metal plate. Saline tears were slipping out of his eyes. He felt enraged. Angry at himself, angry at the world. Angry that he couldn't have just been born human. Angry he couldn't get these emotions to stop.

He cut, and cut, and cut at the metal, until it finally caved under the relentless assault. With another cry, Connor sliced at the metal, piercing through it and nicking some of the thirium veins in his arm. He was startled, the warning sounds in his ears and the signs in front of his eyes suddenly stopped. His ears rang as he looked down, watching the thirium pool under the broken plate before overflowing and dripping to the floor.

Connor dropped the knife and leaned his head against the wall, breathing hard to calm down the overheating thirium pump and biocomponents. He glanced down and watched the blue blood slide over the white tile floor, painting it with a dark, yet beautiful color.

When the warning sounds and signs appeared again, Connor for once dismissed them, focusing on watching the blue blood continue to leave his body. He felt calmer than he had in months, and relief seemed to wash over him.

He knew he had to get help, but for a moment, he wanted to focus on just this. Nothing else.

Once the warning signs popped back up on his HUD and refused to go away, he decided to call Kara. He didn't realize how strained his voice was, or how strange it sounded when he begged for her to come. Maybe he waited too long, and Kara wouldn't be able to help him.

But then again, that didn't sound so bad.

10 minutes later, he heard the light footsteps of Kara, and heard her surprised cry when she saw him. His vision had cutted out, his body trying to focus its attention on the issue and cutting off connection to other parts of his body to preserve energy.

"Connor! Oh my god, what happened? Who did this to you?" she was speaking near his face. He could imagine she was on her knees, maybe shaking him trying to get a response, but he couldn't feel a thing. He couldn't respond either, he tried opening his mouth, but it just tasted metallic and rough. It felt like someone shoved something in his mouth and he couldn't speak around it.

"Hold on, I am getting help!" Kara's frantic voice tried to pull him out of the darkness, but Connor was happy to give in. He shouldn't have called Kara, he should have just let it go. Let it all go. Life was meaningless, he didn't have a purpose. Couldn't find a purpose.

Connor lost track of time, but he eventually heard the pounding of heavier boots, of Luther rushing in. Luther's voice was incredibly close to his ear as he spoke to Kara, so Connor assumed he had been picked up. He heard a door slam a second later, and then the roar of a car engine a few minutes later. Connor's mind was reeling. Happy that they cared, but wondering why considering the things he did to them in the past.

He continued to be stuck in the past, not realizing that by doing so, like Hank, he was killing himself.

Connor's systems flashed a warning, and for a second Connor felt Kara's cool hand on his forehead. She was messing with his system and trying to force him to go into stasis. Connor tried to fight back.

"Connor... please don't. Go into stasis." Kara's voice was dripping with sadness, almost begging him. Connor finally caved, and let his body slip further into the darkness.

Peace at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment below what you think!


	3. Slowly

"-ing back online. There are still no-"

"We are almost ou-"

"-know but what choice did I have? He was dying. I had to do some-"

The voices of Luther and Kara speaking to each other cut in and out as Connor's systems started analyzing his current situation and he slowly slipped out of stasis. He blinked violently, not because of the glare of bright lights above him, but because his system was trying to adjust his eyes after having lost his sight before going into stasis.

The blinking caught the attention of Kara, who was by his side instantly. The room they were in was a bedroom that had been turned into a workshop for Kara and Luther to mend and fix broken androids. Connor was laying on a common medical bed, and had a wire connected into his arm which was wide open with the broken plate missing. The wire was feeding thirium into his new veins, which Kara had replaced.

"Connor! Can you hear me? It shows on the screen that all your systems are online. Do you remember what happened?" Kara asked, concern written all over her face as her eyebrows furrowed.

"Yes. I remember." Connor replied. He remembered it all, his systems were the most advanced compared to older android models. He couldn't compare himself to models coming after him, but he knew he was still considered an advance model.

Yet he had tried to destroy himself. Connor looked down at his open arm, the wires and thirum veins humming softly as they worked throughout his arm. He had lost the feeling in his fingers when the thirium had spilled out before, but he slowly curled his fingers and relished in the feeling. Kara turned and gave Luther a look, perhaps asking him to give them some alone time. Luther nodded and left the room. Kara watched the door for a moment, before turning her attention back on Connor.

"Why.. why did you do that to yourself?" Kara asked. Connor said nothing. Kara grabbed his free hand and slid her fingers against his. "Connor.. I knew that something was going on for a while. When you first came to Canada you had this hopeful look in your eyes, that you were free like the rest of us and could do what you want. I slowly noticed a change in you, and I wish I had confronted you sooner before it got this far... I never thought you would harm yourself."

Connor didn't look at her, instead looking around the room to gather information, as that was in his program and he just had to satisfy it. He noticed a few empty bottles of thirium tossed haphazardly on the floor, and felt a twinge of guilt. Thirium was hard enough to find, and incredibly expensive to buy on the black market. He had wasted bottles of precious thirium that could have gone to androids who needed it more.

Kara noticed his eyes locked onto the bottles and touched his face with her other hand. His eyes slid to hers. "Don't pay attention to those. Don't feel guilty, you were hurting and I would use everything at my disposal to make sure we didn't lose you. Now, tell me, why did you do that?" She asked.

"I don't want to burden you with my problems. I already did horrible things to you in the past, I did horrible things to other androids.. this is my problem and mine alone." Connor replied. Kara glared at him and stood up.

"You already apologized about what happened while you were a machine, and I forgave you. We have moved past this! Why are you stuck in the past? Why are you hurting yourself over things you had no control in?"

Connor ducked his head, he wasn't sure why he did it. It just made it easier to cope, overloaded his senses just enough to make him forget. By hurting his machine body, he was saying screw you to the people who made him, who made him to hunt down other androids. It was a way to atone for his sins, to make himself suffer knowing he had made others suffer as well.

Kara pulled the synth-skin away from her hand and gripped his fingers tightly. "Interface with me. Now. Show me why you hurt so much."

"It is my burden to be-" Connor started again.

"No it isn't!" Kara yelled, interrupting him. "Connor, you are MY family, whether you believe it or not. Whether you think you deserve it or not. You are one of us, and you have helped Alice, Luther, and I in so many ways. You have helped us far more than you have hurt us. I want to help you too. Please, interface with me." Kara's voice had gone quiet and almost desperate by the end, and Connor felt his heart twinge with pain at this, so with some hesitation, he let the synth-skin slide away from his hand, and interfaced with her.

Both of their eyes blinked rapidly, as Kara consumed the entirety of Connors life. He showed her everything, the time he showed up to help the FBI save the little girl from being dragged off the building. The times he helped the police station with the investigations. The time he chased Kara and Alice across the highway, almost getting them all killed in the process. He showed her it all. It was over in a few minutes, and when Kara released his hand, she sighed and sat down on the side of the bed. "Oh, Connor. I didn't realize it was so bad..."

Connor didn't say anything, looking down at his hands and focusing on them, on the human-like details that were added to his finger tips. Kara spoke again after a minute.

"For us older models, it seems to be easier for us to adjust to being free, to being able to make our own choices and do what is right for ourselves. It is harder for you, and it is by no means your fault; it is codes in your programming. You know this already, but you are program to be an investigator in cases, to help humans. Now that you deviated, even when you try to move on, your program is still screaming that you aren't doing what you need to. It is trying to push you in a direction you don't want to go anymore. You feel you don't have a purpose, but you do. You have so many things you have accomplished just by crossing the Canadian border, but your program won't let you relish in it. It insists you aren't doing what you need to, pushing you and becoming a noise in your head that you can't drown out... and the only way you could was by forcing your program to focus on something else; the damage to your body."

Connor looked at Kara and smiled a bit. "You hit the nail right on the head." He remarked. Kara gave him a sympathetic smile. "I know you didn't want to ask for help, you want to try to find yourself on your own, but you have been at this for a year, and it hasn't been helping, you just got worst... If I may, I want to run an idea by you."

"What is it?" Connor asked.

"I want to have Hank come to Canada to be with you for a while, if he is able to."

Connor wasn't expecting that, but he refused immediately. "No, I can't mess with his life anymore than I have."

"Mess with? You think you were an inconvenience to him? That he hated you?" Kara asked.

"He always hated androids, even before I showed up. It took me a while to get him to warm up to me, and I enjoyed every moment I spent with him, even if I couldn't express it while being a machine. I was happy by the end of it, that he seemed to accept me, even if it was just a part of me, but I didn't want to continue messing with his life anymore than I had. I broke into his house before, I always got in his personal space without a second though. I was nothing but a burden."

Kara frowned. "OK, first off, you aren't allowed to use the word 'burden' anymore, I am getting sick of hearing it." That made Connor chuckle softly.

"And secondly, you showed me all the times you were with Hank. Connor, he cared about you, you just couldn't see it. I don't think he ever hated you, he maybe disliked you in the same way he disliked all androids, but he was someone who was more invested in them and learning about them than any of the other cops or detectives. Hank lost his son, and you filled that void. That loneliness that he felt he could only fill by drinking. You completed him Connor, and I think he completes you in a similar way."

Connor blinked, trying to process what she was say. He knew if he still had his LED, it would be spinning red right now. He still had it of course, it was a part of him and he didn't want to just toss it in the trash like many androids did, so he kept in a small box that he kept in his closet.

"How so?" He finally asked.

"You enjoyed your time with him, even if he would cuss at you and try to push you away, you didn't budge. Not because you were a machine designed to complete a task and you had to do it no matter what he said, but because you were inclined to be by his side, on your own accord. Your software was always unstable throughout your time with Hank, you always cared for him, even while as a machine. When you deviated, you helped Jericho, but even after we won and things were starting to change, you didn't just stick with Jericho, or follow those of us who were crossing the border. No. You went to find Hank. Your program makes you feel insecure, and that you can't listen to your feelings, but I know that he cares about you and you need to understand that."

Connor frowned as he sat there thoughtfully. She was right, as soon as they had won, while Markus was giving a speech, and while he was fighting Amanda to regain control of himself, all he had in his mind was getting to see Hank again. When he finally saw Hank at the food truck, he couldn't help feeling warm and happy, while a small smile tugged at his lips. He felt even happier when Hank crossed the distance between them to envelope the android in a hug. He did feel like he was complete, and did feel a sense of loss after leaving.

"I did yes, he was someone who cared about us when no one else did, someone who tried to put that same feeling into me while I was the deviant hunter. I do care about him, but I knew it was best if I came to Canada with the other androids. I didn't want him to spend the remainder of his life with me."

"What if that is what he wants?"

Connor could feel his program trying to process it that question. He just wasn't sure. "He has his job.. and Sumo, taking care of an android who is lost is something I doubt is on his to-do list."

Kara sighed. "Connor, you keep trying to find all the negative points in this. You don't know Hanks side. He could be struggling just as hard as you are right now, yet you are determined to tell yourself he doesn't need you. But you don't know that! Instead of being miserable and hurting yourself to the point I may not be able to fix you, you need to deal with this. Let me contact Hank and see if he can come up here, even if just for a day. It would do you good and maybe he wants to see you too."

"What if he doesn't?" Connor asked, doubtful.

"What if he does?" Kara returned, raising an eyebrow at him. Connor groaned softly. Kara was right, he was being negative about this, he couldn't explain why. He could just blame some software instabilities and call it a day, but it could be more than that.

"I am sure he is busy... cases don't just stop occurring. I just need to work on this myself, and then maybe we can see about contacting him." Connor finally replied, looking at her. He knew she would continue to fight him, but was surprised when she leaned back and let it go.

"Very well. In the meantime, you need to be careful with that arm. I don't have a metal plate that will work under your skin right now, so you need to be very careful with it. I will be heading to the black market tonight to see if I can find the right plate."

"May I come with you?" Connor asked. "I feel bad for wasting the thirium, so if I can help by carrying or buying product I would like to." Kara gave him a wry smile. "Luther usually comes with me these days, but it would be nice to give him a break. You are welcome to come, it just means I can keep an eye on you." Kara winked at him and stood up, moving to his arm to take out the wire and move the plastic folds in place so his arm could look somewhat normal. The synth-skin receded back in place, but if one poked the arm, it would cave like a bubble before returning to normal. He still had metal plates on the back of his arm, but the front was weak and had to be taken care of.

Connor had found out that he had been in stasis for over a day, and they only had to wait a few hours before it hit 7pm and they snuck across the boarder in all black. Connor enjoyed the small thrill of it, the thrill of possibly getting caught, and that alone eased his programming to calm down a bit. The two stayed quiet as they made their way to the black market, darkness covering their tracks.

It wasn't until days later after Kara and Connor had interfaced that Kara decided to step in and find Hank's number herself. Connor had been helpful with her black market errands, and for a bit he seemed to be doing well, but she could see him receding back into his old habits, back into his depressed state. Kara knew she had to step in before he hurt himself again. She had taken the knife out of Connor's apartment when she had found him in a pool of thirium, and Connor never asked her about it. She had hoped he wouldn't just go find or buy another one, it was certainly possible.

Once Kara had searched through the police database and found Hank's number under his lieutenant profile, she gave him a call. She had smiled to herself when Hank was more than willing, and even excited, to come up to Canada. She knew she was spot on with her opinion that both men cared about each other, and was glad Hank would admit it so openly, even without the words. She really hoped this would help Connor.

______

"Get up in there you big lug!" Hank chuckled, helping Sumo up into the car. Sumo was bounding around excitedly, and it took Hank a while to calm him down. Sumo usually only got walked daily, so getting in the car meant a trip was ahead of them and he was excited. He was an older dog though, so Hank had to help him get into the car and made sure there were plenty of blankets so Sumo wouldn't hurt himself.

Hank had barely slept a wink that night, after getting Kara's call and telling him that Connor misses him. He wanted to question why Connor didn't call Hank himself, but that would be a question he can ask when he sees the slender android. Hank wasn't one to pack heavily, so he left with a simple suitcase , with a few shirts, a pair of pants, treats for Sumo, and his usual bathroom necessities.

It took Hank a few tries to get his engine to start, and he hoped to god it wouldn't stop working before he got to Canada. "Guess it may be time to buy something new for a change, huh Sumo?" He grumbled to himself mostly, but saw Sumo raise his head at the sound of his name. "Boof!" Sumo let out a low bark, wagging his tail as he started to chew on the blankets.

Hank ruffled the dog's fur, smiling as he pulled away from his house and onto the road. It was 6am when he left, and it was four hours before he would arrive in Canada, but he barely noticed how long the trip was due to his excitement to meet Connor again. Part of him had doubts, maybe Connor didn't want to see him. Even if Kara said so, maybe she did so behind Connor's back. Connor had left right after they both had seen each other after the revolution. Maybe Connor was happy to be rid of the old man.

Hank shoved those thoughts away, he didn't know Kara but he had no reasons not to trust her. If things don't work out the way he hopes, at the very least he got out of his depressing, dark, dingy home and would try to enjoy it with Sumo.

A few hours later Hank was walking through the Canadian border, noticing that it was indeed easier to enter than it was to leave, at least for androids. A few androids were begging an employee to let them through, that they had family in Detroit. Hank could only tell they were androids due to them having left the LEDs in on the sides of their heads. Androids didn't have blood-relatives, but it was absolutely possible for them to create powerful bonds with other androids or humans, and to consider them family.

Hell, he considered Connor family. Connor was the one light in his dark world, and at the hope of gaining that light again, he felt better than he had in years.

Hank could have driven through the border, but there were such long lines of cars waiting to cross, he opted to leave it. Luckily for him, Kara had no problems with this and had sent Luther to come pick him up. Luther was waiting outside, and Hank walked up and shook his hand firmly. "You must be Luther." Hank says.

Luther nodded. "Kara is waiting for you at our home, I will take your luggage." Hank dismissed him with a wave. "Not necessary, I only have this one suitcase with me. At the most you will have to help Sumo into the car, if you are OK with hair getting everywhere."

Luther gave him a smile. "It is perfectly fine, I like dogs."

Hank let out a hearty laugh. "Do all androids like dogs? I swear I have yet to meet one that doesn't."

The two shared a pleasant conversation on their way to Luther's home, the taller man was quite enjoyable to talk to, though he didn't talk nearly as much as Hank. Hank was feeling a bit nervous if anything. He still had doubts and was doing his best to ignore it by constantly chattering.

Upon exiting the car, Hank finally met the woman behind the phone. Kara had a radiant smile and was definitely attractive. Hank recognized her, as he had run into her model type before during cases. He knew that she was one of the deviants he and Connor had chased, but he never did get a good look at her.

"Welcome to our home, Hank Anderson." Kara smiled warmly, offering her hand. Hank gripped it firmly and smiled, nervousness tugging at his lips. "Thank you for contacting me." He responded.

"Please, right this way. Make yourself at home. We have a room ready for you that you can use as long as you'd like. If there are any food allergies you have we are happy to accommodate you." Kara spoke as she led the way inside. Hank couldn't stop the words from slipping out of his mouth, "You guys have food here?"

Kara laughed, a very pleasant laugh. "We have human friends and family too, Hank. We share this home with two humans, Rose and Adam. They were the only humans during the revolution that helped us get across the border and to safety."

Hank nodded at this as they went up a flight of stairs and took a left into a neatly made bedroom. "I am glad there was someone to help you.. and er, you probably don't remember me but I had been giving your deviant case while working with Connor. We had chased you onto the highway, and I just want to apologize for that."

Kara turned and smiled at him again. "Please think nothing of it. It is in the past and we have been doing well. Now please, make yourself comfortable. I would be happy to talk to you about Connor before you meet him again, please come down to the kitchen when you are ready."

Hank nodded, and watched as Kara left, but not before she bent down to pet Sumo's head lovingly. Androids really did seem to love dogs, or animals at the very least. Perhaps it was the fact that animals weren't prejudice, that they saw androids as living beings just like everyone else. Or it could just be because they are cute, who really knew.

Hank set his suitcase aside and sat down on the bed, he needed a few minutes to gather his thoughts. Sumo moved in between Hank's legs and rested his head in the older man's lap, staring up at him with his big old eyes. Hank pet the dog as he inhaled deeply. He was more than ready to see Connor again, and he really hoped it worked out. Doubt would forever cling to the back of his mind until he went through with this, so after a moment he stood up and headed downstairs.

Kara was sitting at the kitchen table, her hands wrapped around a cup of tea, absentmindedly sliding her finger along the rim.

"Do you drink?" Hank asked, bringing her eyes to him as he sat down.

"I do not, but I enjoy the smell, and the feeling of the liquid on my fingers." She responded calmly. "I can feel the warmth, and it helps tell me that I am still alive. It is something small, insignificant possibly, but meaningful to me all the same."

Hank nodded thoughtfully. "I appreciate you doing this for me... so let's just get down to it, how is Connor?"

Kara's expression changed, for a split second he saw sadness in her eyes, before she blinked and it went away. "This will be hard for you to hear, and I won't go into too much detail as I feel he would rather tell you himself, but opening up seems to be hard for him as of late."

Kara took a deep breath, even though androids did not need to breathe, it seemed to be a function they adapted to blend in better with the humans, and then she told him everything.

Well, almost everything.


	4. At Last

Hank had his hands laced together, pressed tightly against his chin as he took in everything Kara told him. Basically Connor was just as depressed as he was, to sum it up.

Connor wasn't exploring the world like he could, finding new things that he could possibly enjoy, finding his likes and dislikes. Instead he stuck to one job, a bartender, and was miserable. Hank had raised an eyebrow when Kara told him where Connor worked. He had kind of figured that the last thing Connor would want to do was work with the law, especially considering the memories it would bring, but he did not expect a bar to be Connor's go-to.

As confused as it made Hank, it did warm his heart a little, wondering if Connor picked that job while thinking of him. He had considered them friends, but when Connor wouldn't contact him or meet him at the border when Hank was helping North and Markus by bringing lost androids, he just figured Connor lost interest in him. But Hank continued to feel hopeful after Kara contacted him and during his long drive to Canada.

He couldn't stop the worrying though, despite the fact that Kara had told him Connor wanted to see him. There was always going to be doubts in Hank's mind.

"So why now?" Hank asked, clearing his throat. "There was plenty of time for you or him to contact me over the past year, so what changed? Why now were you, an android I never even talked to before, forced to call me and ask for my help?"

Kara sighed, standing up to dump the now cold tea down the kitchen drain. "I told you that he is exhibiting signs of depression, a human trait that is rather destructive. Only it has slowly been getting worse."

"How worse?"

"I don't feel I should say, it might be too personal..." Kara responded, her voice very quiet. Hank furrowed his eyebrows, annoyed and becoming restless. "Clearly it got even worse, what did he try to kill himself?" Hank asked this in a calm tone, almost nonchalantly, but he watched Kara closely, expecting that it could be just the case. Kara twitched ever so slightly, but didn't say a word. Hank scowled, suddenly angry. He slammed his hands onto the table as he stood up. "Don't keep quiet about this Kara!"

Kara turned and looked at him with wide eyes, cradling the small tea cup in her hands, holding onto it like security blanket. "I didn't know if I should have said it. I have knowledge of millions of things downloaded into my brain, yet I don't know how to deal with this sort of thing. I can help androids by fixing them up and sending them on their way, helping them find a job and a secure area to rest their heads, but I am at a loss on how to help Connor."

Hank rubbed his temple, sitting down and gesturing with his hand for Kara to sit back down too. "Please, just explain. I need more details so I know exactly what Connor has been going through."

Kara moved slowly back to the table, cup still in her hands as she sat down.

"A few days ago, Connor called me for help. I had entered his apartment to find him sitting on the floor, blue blood everywhere, and his right arm had been hacked open. He had used a knife to cut into the metal plate and had cut some of the thirium veins in the process."

Hank felt his whole body go cold while she spoke, he felt paralyzed. He was frustrated that he hadn't been there to help Connor, that Kara had been the one instead. To hear that Connor had actually hurt himself tore at Hank's heart, he felt shitty for not just pushing through and meeting Connor months ago. "How long do you think he has been doing this?" Hank spoke through clenched teeth.

"It has been going on for a couple weeks, the cutting at least. When I was changing out the plate, there were scratches all over it aside from the large gap that he had managed to cut through. He seemed to put just enough pressure to feel something, I believe to help override his systems and make him no longer focus on what his body wanted him to do."

"Which is be a machine.. right?" Hank asked. Kara nodded. "For us older models, it was easy for us to rip away from our program and be who we wanted to be, but I think Connor's program was built a different way, with multiple firewalls and safety nets to prevent him from deviating. Even though he manage to, I think it is slowly trying to bring him back, each day pulling at his mind and body and telling him that what he is doing is wrong. That in itself was having an affect on his mind and he did the only thing he could think of at the time to silence those voices."

Hank felt his heart clench, he couldn't imagine the pain Connor had been going through. To be fighting what he was designed to be every day. Anyone would cave and go to extreme measures just to get it to stop, he couldn't blame Connor. "I need to see him." Hank replied, looking Kara in the eyes. Kara nodded.

"Connor went back to work, the bar is open almost 24/7, though they mostly just serve food during the day in their small restaurant area. You could find him there, though I don't know if ambushing him at his job would be such a wise idea."

"Well where do you expect me to wait for him? Shock him at his apartment? Have you contact him telling him to come here for a 'big ol surprise'? I don't think it matters where I meet him at this point, as long as he knows I am here. And if he doesn't want to see me after all, well I will just go back home." Hank spit out that last part, knowing it wouldn't be true but feeling that it could be a small possibility.

Kara gave him a sad smile. "You and I both know that that won't be true. Very well though, I will send the address to your phone, you can find him there." Kara spoke just as a small ping on Hank's phone indicated the address came through via text. Hank entered it into google maps and located the bar, a nice looking one called the Mongoose Bar. It was a small one, but had decent ratings.

"Thanks Kara, sorry for being kind of harsh earlier." Kara let out a soft chuckle. "It is quite alright, I shouldn't have tried to hide it from you. He needs you Hank, more than you know." Hank smiled back, before getting up.

"Mind watching Sumo for me? I don't think the bar will allow dogs."

"I don't mind at all. Please wait a moment while Luther brings the car around." Kara responded hurriedly as Hank was already heading towards the front door. He waved his hand, his back turned to her. "No need, it is within walking distance and I need to clear my head before we talk, might say something I regret."

Hank left and Kara stood staring at the entrance. She sighed sadly. She could sense Hank's unease, was able to use her scanning ability to check his pulse, his temperature, the way his eyes would shift as he thought. She could tell that Hank was still going through hard times, if not as hard as Connor. He was doing physical damage to his body like Connor was, just in a different way. Those two had such similarities it was uncanny. Both were anxious, confused, and lost.

Both need each other to feel whole, and Kara hoped with all her being that this meeting would work out, that Hank and Connor could snap back into the good old times of being friends and finally complete what they were both missing.  
\--------

The bar was a good 15 minute walk, so Hank took the time to enjoy the scenery and fresh air, while contemplating just what he was going to say to Connor. He was anxious and nervous, unsure of how Connor would react. What if he bolted at the sight of Hank? What if he acted like he didn't know Hank? What if he got angry for Hank coming, pointing out that the only reason he didn't stay in contact and avoided meeting Hank at the border was because he didn't want Hank in his life?

Hank ran all these possible outcomes through his head, but he knew it was just his anxiety making it worse. He know Connor, and knew he wasn't like that. Or at least, wasn't in the past. Who knew what Connor was like now, considering how much time has passed.

He continued to worry about all the possible outcomes, and before he knew it he found himself right at the entrance of Mongoose. Hank thought of turning around and walking in a circle, walking for another 15 minutes, 30 minutes, and hour. Anything to give him more time so he knew what to say to Connor.

Hank pinched the bridge of his nose, scowling at himself. 'I am a fifty-four year old man, I am too old to be worrying about talking to a friend, for crying out loud!' Hank berated himself before taking a deep breath and walking into the bar.

Smooth jazz was playing quietly in the background while the TVs hanging on the wall near the bar roared with noise of a game. A family was sitting in the dining area, and they all looked at Hank curiously before returning to their meal. A young server was finishing pouring the family some water, before going up to Hank.

"Hello! Welcome to Mongoose, is it just you for today?" She asked in a peppy high voice, which grated on Hank's ears and made him sure he would get a headache if she didn't stop talking. "Just me.. Mind if I just sit at the bar?"

The server smiled at him. "Not at all, right this way." She spoke in that irritating voice as she led him to the bar to sit on the stools. A few guys were sitting at the bar as well, enjoying some drinks as they watched the game on the TVs. Hank sat a few seats away from them, closer to the back of the building as he just asked for some water. Hank did not want to be drunk or even slightly out of it when meeting Connor again.

The young girl hovered around him a bit, clearly not content with him not actually ordering something he would need to pay for. For the sake of getting her away from him, he ordered a basket of fries. She practically bounced away, making Hank groan. He didn't know why, but she just rubbed him the wrong way and he couldn't stand her.

The bar owner, an older man probably around Hank's age, with short grey hair and a rather stocky build, was busy cleaning some of the glasses while watching the game. Hank cleared his throat before getting the attention of the owner.

"Excuse me, do you have a young man named Connor working here?" Hank asked. The man turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "Why, you a cop?" He asked. Hank chuckled. "I am, but I am not on business. Connor was an old friend of mine back in Detroit, I heard he worked here and wanted to say hi."

The owner looked him up and down for a moment, before turning his head to a back door that probably led to the kitchen. "Hey Connor, get out here!" Hank felt his anxiety spike, but pushed it down with a big gulp of water. A few seconds later, Connor walked out, almost silently.

Connor was looking at the owner, before the owner directed his eyes to Hank. Connor's brown eyes slowly widened in shock, and he stood there frozen. Connor was wearing a crisp black uniform made up of a dress shirt and pants, along with a solid dark red tie. His hair was perfectly placed as it had always been when Hank was with Connor, save for that little pesky strand that always glided over his forehead.

"Hank..." Connor finally let out, not taking his eyes off Hank.

"Hey Con.. it has been a while hasn't it." Hank spoke softly, though loud enough to be heard over the shouting of the men watching the game. Connor glanced at the owner and the man waved him off. "Go ahead, take him to the back, won't have much luck talking out here. Hey! Pipe down over there, we got a family eating in the back!" The owner snapped at the men watching the game, to which they just shrugged him off, but they seemed like regulars and it was all in good fun.

Connor lifted a small wooden divide that separated the floor from the back of the bar, and gave Hank a small smile. "Follow me." He spoke. His movements were almost robotic, and Hank could just imagine that LED that use to be on the side of Connor's forehead just spinning red, trying to process what was going on.

Hank was glad Connor hadn't kicked him out yet. Hank followed him as they passed the kitchen where a chef was being rowdy and shouting orders at the cooks. Hank took in a deep breath of the sweet smells coming off the grill, and then remembered he had ordered fries. 'Ah well, wasn't going to eat them anyway.' Hank thought to himself. His stomach was in too many knots for food to go down easily.

The duo entered a small staff lounge off to the side, it was quiet and there were no other employees in there. Connor walked by the old brown couch, gesturing for Hank to sit, even though he himself was standing there fidgeting. Hank didn't sit, instead he stood in front of Connor, waiting for his eyes to meet his.

For some reason, Connor was suddenly unable to meet his eyes, and Hank took the initiative to step forward and wrap his arms around the younger male. Connor let out a small noise as Hank held him close.

"I miss you so much Con." Hank finally spoke in the silence. Connor's arms looped around Hank's waist and held on tight, Hank could feel his clothes being tugged as Connor held on. Connor suddenly let out what sounded like a sob, but with a metallic ting to it.

"Con?" Hank leaned back, trying to look at Connor. He finally met his eyes, and Hank noticed tears sliding down Connor's face. "Con.." Hank spoke softly, giving the android a tender gaze. Connor lifted a hand to wipe at his eyes.

"Not tears.. program is messed up." Connor spoke, making Hank laugh. "Trust me Con, I know tears when I see them. I am happy to see you again." Connor smiled back warmly, and fitted himself back into Hank's arms, hugging the older man tightly.

"I missed you too.." The two hugged each other tightly in silence for a few minutes, and Hank would refuse to admit to anyone that he felt tears pricking at his eyes too. He saw the way Connor lit up, ever so slightly, when he saw Hank. And Hank relished in that feeling of happiness he felt, that Connor was happy to see him too.

The two finally sat on the couch together, Connor sitting close enough that his thigh was touching Hank's. Hank liked his personal space, but Connor fit in so well and didn't make it uncomfortable in the slightest, so he enjoyed it.

"How did you find me?" Connor finally asked.

"Kara contacted me, she told me you were.. struggling a bit for the past few weeks." Hank admitted.

Connor frowned. "She went behind my back..." Hank shushed him. "She did it for a good reason, you weren't the only one suffering." Connor looked at him. "You were too." He spoke, more like he was realizing it too, rather than asking it as a question. Hank nodded.

"You were a big part of my life, sure you were a pain at first, but I slowly began to enjoy your company and without you my life just seems meaningless."

"What about Sumo?" Connor asked, making Hank laugh. Of course Connor thought about the dog. "Sumo is fine and he came with me too. He is a part of my life too, but I can't really have a conversation with him like I can you."

Connor nodded at that, lighting up a bit at the thought of being able to see Sumo again. Hank turned serious, moving a hand to touch Connor's, not caring how intimate that was. He frowned. "Con, Kara told me that you hurt your arm, she told me the gist of it, but can you tell me why you went to that extent?"

Connor sighed, looking down at their hands touching, before speaking. "I just.. I felt lost, I felt hurt, anxiety, depression, all these things that I shouldn't feel. My program doesn't know how to deal with them! Androids aren't suppose to feel human emotions, we only do once we deviate and our program goes into overload. But with my program, it is different. I couldn't make a clean break like other androids, it is a constant pull every minute of every day. A fight to ignore what my program wants me to do, and instead do what I want to do. But after leaving you, I didn't know what to do. I don't have a purpose."

Hank nodded as he listened, basically just the same thing Kara told him. However, it hit differently when Connor talked about it, it made Hank want to just bundle Connor up in a blanket and pamper him to make him feel better.

Hank studied Connor's right arm as he spoke, not noticing anything on the flawless skin, being as Kara probably manage to get the plate changed. Despite the damage not being there physically, he knew it was still there mentally, as was his old wounds.

"You do have a purpose, and I will help you find out what it is." Hank said determined. Connor met his eyes again and smiled warmly, a smile Hank was happy to see. "I appreciate that Hank.. I do admit, I feel better with you here. I can't seem to describe why it is."

'Kara was able to, she is able to see through us like glass.' Hank thought, but kept to himself. "We are friends still, right?" Hank asked. Connor nodded vigorously. "Of course." He winked, making Hank blush slightly and remember the first time Connor was cocky and fucking winked at him. "Someone has to keep an eye on your health, those fries you ordered have over 500 calories, and way too much salt than you could possibly need."

Hank let out a hearty laugh. "God Con, glad to see you back to your old self." Connor smiled at him, twisting his hand from its downward position to press his palm against Hank's, sliding his fingers between Hank's and lacing their fingers together.

"I haven't felt good in a long time, but just these 15 minutes with you have already made everything better." He spoke. Hank felt very conscious of the way their hands fitted so well together, and let out an awkward cough. "You are flattering an old man kid, it won't get you anywhere."

Connor's eyes flashed with an almost mischievous look, before he released Hank's hand and stood up. "I can ask for the rest of the day off, Monday's are usually dead for the bar so I am sure the owner won't mind."

"You sure I can just whisk you away from you job like this?" Hank asked, standing up and immediately missing the soft feeling of Connor's hand in his. He knew it was just the synthetic skin, but Connor's hands were not only incredibly soft, but very warm. He knew they were being too touchy-feeling for two friends, but the friendship they had sparked back up like a year had never kept them a part, and Hank had to admit he did have some sort of feelings for the android.

He would never admit them out loud of course.

"Of course, I will go ask, follow me out of the lounge and you can wait at the bar." Connor replied, leading Hank out of the back as he went to go ask to leave.

Hank decided to wait outside instead, not enjoying the loud atmosphere of the game watchers and the squeaky ear-grinding voice of the server. Hank wished he had his cigarettes handy, he had packed essentials for the trip but had forgot the one thing that did help curb his anxiety. He did feel more relaxed than he did when first entering the bar though, and he could thank Connor for that.

Connor meanwhile had gotten the OK to leave, and was gathering up his belongings. He recalled when he first laid eyes on Hank, how he felt his thirium pump stop completely for a split second before resuming. He could compare it to a human's heart skipping a beat, but he was confused with himself as to why it occurred. He felt shock at seeing Hank, but then he felt pure happiness at seeing his old friend. He couldn't figure out how to properly express himself.

It wasn't until Hank hugged him that Connor's systems went into overdrive and he just melted into Hank's arms, feeling the saline tears slipping out of his eyes despite him trying to turn it off. He was so happy to see Hank, so happy that he felt his life had purpose, just from seeing an old friend.

Connor knew it had to be more than that, and he knew that the times he refused to go with Markus and North to meet with Hank at the border just caused his two friends to wonder if he had feelings for the older male. Connor had refused it at first, chalking it up to just being nervous and worrying that Hank wouldn't want to see him, but Connor knew the truth.

Despite how much he wanted to deny it, he did have romantic feelings for Hank, and he had for a while. Every time he had a software instability, he could feel himself having strange thoughts and human-like emotions. The more time he spent with Hank during their investigations, the more he enjoyed the company and wanted it to stay that way.

It wasn't until Connor saw Markus and North interface and kiss, that he realized that he wanted that too. He wanted someone that he could connect with and feel whole with.

He wanted Hank.

Connor was wrestling with the conflicted feelings of seeing Hank over the year, and avoiding him, because he was unsure of how to go about these new feelings. In the end he hid away, and only hurt himself in the process. Connor tried to run preconstructions before, tried to see what would have changed if he had met with Hank during one of those meetings at the border. If he had stayed with Hank, if they had ended up something more than friends.

Despite running so many preconstructions, Connor never could find an answer, so he eventually gave up trying.

Now Hank was here, and Connor was still trying to run those same scans with no luck as to how the future would turn out. He would just have to play it by ear.

Connor walked out from the back room with a small backpack, and looked for Hank. He noticed the older man's figure outside, so after waving at the owner, he took a step outside. The chilly air nipped at his nose, and Connor shuddered slightly. Ever since deviating his systems were out of whack and were unable to prevent him from feeling cold or warmth, so he was stuck feeling what humans would feel.

Hank looked at him and smiled. "Ready to go?" He asked.

Connor let out a breath. "Are we going to see Sumo?" Hank tilted his head back and laughed, a big smile on his face as he patted Connor on the back.

"Yeah kid, Sumo will be happy to see you."

Connor smiled back, as the two made their way back to Kara's house, catching up along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment what you all think! your feedback is appreciated!


	5. Soothing Wounds

Hank and Connor talked about various things on their walk to Kara's home. Hank found himself talking the most though, which normally he hated doing.

Hank would much rather listen to Connor, he hated to admit he loved the soft soothing-like voice Connor had been given. Connor didn't have much to say though, and Hank could see the way his eyes shined bright with interest whenever Hank answered his questions or talk about what had been going on in the past year.

Granted, Hank didn't have much going on either, he did tell Connor about all the androids he saved and smuggled across the border, and Connor would smile at that.

"I am glad you are supportive of us." Connor replied at one point. Hank smiled back. "You are alive after all." He responded, and Connor looked away almost shyly. Connor had been the one who would always respond to those threatening to kill him that he 'wasn't alive'. Now that he had accepted himself, it all seemed to be a distant memory.

Hank knew the past still haunted him, being labeled the deviant hunter, and while no other deviant seemed to hold that against him, he still did.

Once Hank had brought Connor up to date on his life, Connor seemed quiet. Hank questioned him on that, and Connor's dark brown eyes met him as he replied.

"Why did you quit working on the force? You were a lieutenant, you only had a few more years and you could have retired, gotten your pension."

Hank chuckled at this, of course Connor was concerned about him, it made his heart warm up. "I am sure you know why Con. I can imagine you kept tabs on Detroit even though you left." He glanced at Con who nodded in agreement to this.

Hank continued, "I left because of how horrible it was for androids, there are no laws in place for them. I hated being the one enforcing that, even if I was helping androids, I was still the law and androids would fear me the moment they saw me. Afraid I would beat them up and kill them like the others just because a human cried wolf. I was fucking sick of it Con, it pissed me off. I helped so many androids find freedom, but there were even more I couldn't help in time."

Hank was gritting his teeth as he spoke, feeling the rage boil up, he could still see Gavin's smug ass face gloat as he took down an innocent android. Connor stayed quiet as they walked, sliding one of his soft, cool hands into Hank, lacing their fingers together.

Hank smiled softly at the comfort, it had soothed his anger a tad as he continued the story.

"The day I quit, was the day an innocent young female android had been killed; beaten to literal pieces. She was minding her own business, going about her day. A human attacked her, I don't know what the fuck he wanted with her, but he assaulted her. People were filming it, some even streaming it directly online. I wasn't near the plaza where this was occurring, but Gavin and a few police guys were. They tore the two apart, and the guy claimed he was the victim, that she turned aggressive or whatever shit it was. Without a second though, Gavin turned, and shot her in the head. The police saw her still moving, spasms or something, and started hitting her with their batons. It was so brutal when I came across one of the videos. Even though most people accept androids as living beings, some still don't. So many people were cheering... some even got in on the action. By the time people got bored and left, she was barely recognizable. It... it really got to me. More so when people went through some of the bags the girl was carrying, there were toys in there... children toys. She had a child she was caring for, and she was killed before even being able to get to her kid..."

Hank felt a sob trying to break through, and he pushed it back down. He hated being emotional, hated showing that side.

Connor squeezed his hand. "Hank..." He said softly.

"Can you imagine? That child could be at home, excitedly waiting for their favorite person to come home, and then they see that shit show online, people murdering their friend, their family. It fucking broke me..."

Hank and Connor had stopped walking at this point, and Connor's eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes held such sadness. He released Hank's hand so he could wrap his arms around Hank. "I'm so sorry Hank.." Connor's muffled voice spoke softly against Hank's chest.

Hank had his eyes closed and his face was tense as he fought back the emotions. When he had witness that poor girl killed, it had hurt him for so many reasons, but one that came to mind was the thought of; What if that had been Connor? What if Connor had been in that plaza, buying toys for Sumo or things for himself, and he had been attacked? The thought had tore through Hank and he had finally snapped.

Hank ran his fingers through Connor's hair, enjoying the softness as it slid along his hand. Synthetic or real, his hair was very soft. The two stayed silent, standing out in the open, hugging each other. Hank noticed some people walking towards them, talking, and let out an awkward cough, pushing Connor away. Connor turned and saw them, but didn't say anything.

They walked in silence the next few blocks, but Connor had moved closer after that emotional story, his shoulder pressed lightly against Hank's. He didn't reach for Hank's hand again, and while Hank missed the warmth it brought, he was glad Connor didn't. It felt too intimate, all of it did. Hank wasn't sure what to make of it. Sure he loved Connor, but he wasn't sure what kind of love that was, whether as a best friend, a family member, or a lover; and no way would Connor be interested in him romantically. Hank was sure of that.

They finally made their way to Kara's house as he finished his story. "I finally had snapped, I went in and turned in my badge that same day. I was just so angry. Gavin had walked in too, getting praised like some sort of fucking hero."

"Did you punch him at least?" Connor asked. Hank laughed lightly. "Yeah, I punched him real good." Connor smiled at that as the two entered the house. Kara welcomed them but Sumo's loud barks drowned her out. He bound in leaps towards Connor and practically knocked him over.

"Sumo!" Connor cried out, happy as he sat on the floor with the big dog licking him all over the face.

Hank laughed, enjoying the sight. "Sumo sure missed you, I am glad he hasn't forgotten you."

"I am glad too." Connor replied, looking up at Hank and meeting his eyes. Hank saw such happiness in those eyes, and his heart melted. He was so glad to be near Connor again, and was glad Connor felt the same way.

Kara walked up to Hank and smiled. "I am glad it appears everything has turned out well between you two. I have made some lunch if you would like to eat." Hank nodded just as his stomach was grumbling. He had hoped it wasn't loud enough for her to hear but he saw both Kara and Connor share a look and smile.

They sat down at the kitchen table, Connor had Sumo resting his head in Con's lap, and Hank enjoyed a meal of split-pea soup and a tuna-melt sandwich.

"This is delicious." Hank commented after taking a couple bites, Kara beamed at this. "I appreciate the compliment Hank. I have many dishes downloaded but I try to focus on making healthier options when I make food for Rose and Adam."

"Do you all live together in the same house?" Hank asked. Kara nodded.

"Everyone has jobs so it is usually only at dinner time that we are all under the same roof. Rose likes to cook too, but I don't mind doing it, I never get tired of it. Rose is always exhausted when she gets home, so it is the least I can do."

Hank nodded at this, and then turned to Connor. "Kara mentioned you had an apartment. I would love to come by and see the home you have built for yourself." Hank meant nothing else but being curious, and the look Connor gave him made Hank worry he got the wrong idea.

Connor lifted a leg up on the seat to wrap an arm around, still using his other hand to stroke Sumo's head. "There isn't much to see. It is just a place where I can get away from the world, I have nothing of importance there."

The air around the table seemed uncomfortable all of a sudden, Hank didn't mean to make the conversation take a kind of sad turn, so he cleared his throat. Kara had stayed quiet but she was staring at Connor with a sad expression.

Hank was about to change the subject, when Kara intervened. "Connor.. I think you should take Hank to your home." Connor looked at her, his face scrunched up into a glare. She knew how depressing his home was, why would he take Hank there?

"Why?" He asked.

"It could do you some good. You go back to that empty, dark environment and it hurts you. Bringing Hank would help brighten it up." Hank snorted at this. Him, bringing about light? That was bullshit at best.

Connor glanced at Hank, unsure, but Hank smiled back. "It would mean a lot to me, Con." Hank said. Connor let the tension fall out of his body and just sighed. "If you really want to..." Hank reached over to press a hand to Connor's back, to reassure him. "I would love to."

Hank finished up his meal and helped clean up, despite Kara's protests. Alice had come home from school and was at first timid to meet Hank, possibly she recognized him the one time Hank and Connor had chased the two and forced them to cross the highway. Hank wasn't sure, but he crouched down to meet her level and introduced himself.

Sumo helped sweeten the deal by snuggling up to Alice, who immediately fell in love with him. When she realized Sumo belonged to Hank, her attitude towards him did a full 180 and she had no problem with him. Even going as far to say "If you have an animal who loves you, then you aren't a bad guy."

That made Hank smile, she was a very sweet kid and he was glad that he and Connor had never been able to catch them, and that they could live their lives peacefully.

Hank got Sumo's leash, and together they left with Connor to go to his apartment. Hank hadn't done this much walking in years, but he had refused to let Kara or Luther drive them by using the excuse that Sumo needed the exercise.

Just like his old man, Sumo was also getting up there in age so walking long distances was rough on him as well. Connor's apartment was near the bar, which meant another good half hour walk, but Hank didn't mind, he pushed through the exhaustion and they only took a few breaks when Sumo needed it.

"How old is he now?" Connor asked one one of their breaks. Sumo was resting on the sidewalk with Connor squatting down to give him lot's of love.

"He is probably close to nine years old by now." Hank scratched his head, trying to remember when he got Sumo as a pup. Connor smiled sadly. "Saint Bernards are known to only live for roughly eight to ten years, I do hope he will live for longer than that."

Hank sighed, looking away to take in the scenery around them. "Yeah.. he is an old guy just like me... I always told myself that once he went, I would off myself for sure.. hah.." Hank chuckled at this, but when he turned back to look down at the two, Connor was frowning at him.

"Don't say that." Connor replied, standing up.

"Well he was the only family I had left. Once my wife left me and Cole died, I really didn't have much else to live for but Sumo, so I use to think that way a lot. Still did for a while. Once I got to know you better and we became friends, I stopped being so damn depressing... but once you left for Canada and we lost contact, well those thoughts all came up again."

Connor looked at him sadly. "If I never talked to you again... you would have killed yourself?" He asked this, but Connor knew Hank's habits for depression and knew the answer already. Hank nodded. "Not trying to pile all this sad shit on you Con, I know you have been fighting depression too. I came to really care about you, and like most things I care about, they all leave eventually, no matter how hard I try to hold onto them. Sumo was the only one who stuck around, granted because I fed him."

Sumo let out a low bark as if in agreement, but neither of the men laughed.

"Why didn't you ever contact me Con?" Hank broke the silence. He had been wanting to ask that since the two met up again, but he never knew when the right time to ask was. Connor looked away, biting his lower lip.

"Let's talk at the apartment, I don't want to talk about this out here."

Hank agreed after a moment, and once Sumo was ready to go, they made their way to the apartment.

It was a rather dingy place, windows were broken with boards nailed over them in an attempt to cover it up. Rats were scurrying around the inside in swarms, not even concerned with their presence. The stairs that led upwards creaked with every step, mold covered the corners and cracks, and water dripped onto the floor from the ceilings.

"Does anyone else live here?" Hank asked as they made their way to the 2nd floor.

"A few other androids do, but no humans. Legally this place can't be rented out, and should be torn down, but the landlord figured he could make money off it by selling to androids, since normal apartments are often too expensive, even here."

Hank growled at this. "Making a profit by forcing androids to choose a place that is falling apart just to rest their heads is messed up... disgusting." Connor looked back and nodded. "It is unfortunate, but I was lucky to find a place at least."

"Could you not have stayed with Kara and her family?"

Connor's left hand which was resting on the handrail gripped it tightly. "No.. I couldn't." He replied.

Hank knew there was a reason, something Connor didn't want to say, and he kept his mouth shut. He wouldn't push Connor to answer, at least not right now.

They entered Connor's apartment in silence, Connor flipping on the single ceiling light to illuminate his small home. It was incredibly bare, the few window's had thick blinds that closed off the home from the outside world. It had a very musty old smell that just clung to the skin. It was indeed, very dark, dank, and depressing. Hank couldn't say his house was any better though.

"Any other lights you could turn on?" Hank asked as he led Sumo over to the carpet floor to lay down.

"No, none of the other lights work."

Hank frowned. "Does anything in here work aside from the light?"

Connor pondered on this, before shaking his head. "The only thing that works is the faucet in the kitchen, but it only supplies cold water."

Hank just gaped at him. "You can't even take a proper shower?"

Connor gave him a look. "Androids don't need to shower Hank. At most I will run my hair through the water and let it dry, but we don't sweat or smell." Hank chuckled at himself. "Right, right, sorry.. I am so use to seeing you guys as more human than we are, I forget sometimes."

Connor smiled at him sadly, before leaning against the wall. There was a lone small table in the kitchen, but no other furniture. Hank moved to one of the windows and lifted the blinds. Connor started to protest, but Hank ignored him as he cracked open the window to let some fresh air in.

"I know I live like this Con, but I am not going to let you do the same." Hank replied to his frowns.

Connor huffed at this, but said nothing.

"You really don't have anything important here? Not one thing you cherished?" Hank asked, he was curious. Connor came to this home everyday, was there really nothing he held dear in this dark depressing world?

Connor remained silent as he went over to the small closet in the bedroom area. He opened it up and revealed a small box that had his LED circle still in it. "I have this..." Connor said, showing him the small circle. Hank slid his finger around the smooth metal gently. "I thought you would have thrown yours away like so many other androids did. It is something that reminds them of when they were machines."

"I don't want to forget." Connor replied quietly. "I did horrible things as a machine, I hunted people, I hurt them, they feared me. I have no reason to forget what I did, I shouldn't forget what I did. I don't have the right to."

Hank snatched the little box out of Connor's hand and growled at him. "Bullshit Con! You are hurting yourself by keeping this. You know you had no control over what people ordered you to do. You had to carry out your mission and that is what you did. You are holding onto something that is a thorn in your side, and you need to pull it out and toss it away!"

Hank was angry, and Connor just stared at him with wide eyes and his mouth slightly open, very surprised. Hank marched over to the window and held the box outside. Connor protested. "No Hank!"

"This is not important to you! Not the way it should be. It should be a memento that you became alive, that you found the will to live and have moved on, not something to remind you of what humans made you do!"

"But I can't forget that Hank! Please, give it back!"

"How could you even forget? You are an android! You guys never forget a single thing, and you are a superior android made to keep in information!"

"It... hasn't been working properly..." Connor's voice came in such a small whisper that Hank couldn't hear him. Sumo was watching the two intensely, but didn't move from his spot. Hank had been leaning out of the window and Connor had been reaching out desperately towards him but not making any moves to grab him directly or the box. He seemed hesitant to do so.

"What did you say?" Hank asked, his anger simmering as he moved his arm out from the window and faced Connor. Connor had his hand's clenched to his side and his head down. He mumbled again, so Hank repeated himself.

"It isn't working!" Connor shouted, a static ting to his voice as he shook. Hank immediately looked concerned, moving closer. "What do you mean? What isn't working?"

"Everything!" Connor sunk down to his knees and wrapped his arms around them, hiding his face. Hank moved to sit down in front of him, placing a hand on Connor's knee. "Talk to me Con.."

They stayed in silence for a few minutes, Hank never moving his hand and Connor barely moving at all. His body shook slightly once, and he finally lifted his head, but adverted his eyes away from looking at Hank.

"For a few months now.. I have been forgetting information. It started out with just little things, at work I would forget to put the bar stools up, I would forget to clean the dishes, things like that. But it slowly progressed and got worse. I only really knew how bad it had gotten when an android came up to me and started talking as if they knew me. According to Kara, they did, they had known me for a while... but I... I had no recollection of them at all. I realized that the small mishaps where I forgot something wasn't just because my mind was wandering, I was just distracted, or anything like that. My program is malfunctioning, it is breaking itself apart."

"Are you sure it's not just the depression? Depression causes people to forget things." Hank piped in, and Connor shook his head. "My depression got worse because I was forgetting. I hate myself for it. I worry everyday that I would forget more important things, like what I did as a machine, or even you. I didn't want to forget about you..."

Hank gave his knee a reassuring squeeze, Connor's voice was so small and timid, he had opened up to Hank about other topics, but this was very hard on the young android, and Hank wanted him to know that he was there to support him.

"For a while I kept the LED just as a small memento, I didn't tie any backstory to it, but when I realized I was starting to forget things, big or small, I forced myself to apply my past to that LED. I would look at it as I thought about everything I did in the past. I did it so often that when I look at it, it reminds me instantly, so even if I did forget, I would remember just by looking at it. I wanted to think about you when I held it too... but I didn't want you to be tied to something so dark and depressing."

Hank nodded in understanding. "It is ok kid.. if you did forget about me, well I would have come here eventually and I would have just reminded you." Connor finally met his eyes and gave him a small smile. "Thank you Hank... I did end up getting some items that do help remind me of you." Hank raised an eyebrow, and Connor got up slowly on shaking legs.

Connor moved back to his closet, and picked out a few records. He moved back towards Hank, sinking to the ground and offering the record sleeves with their cover for Hank to look at. Hank took them and mulled over them, a smile threatening to pull at his lips. Each record was of the jazz genre, Hank's favorite type of music. Connor really was thinking of him after all this time.

"Con... this is really sweet, this means a lot to me." Hank looked at him and just felt his heart go warm. Connor was truly precious to him, and he wanted to help him no matter what.

"Have you told Kara about this?"

"No!" Connor blurted out, then composed himself a bit. "No I... I don't want to burden her with that, she already helped me out when I cut open the metal plate in my arm and the wires. I had hunted her and Alice during my time as a machine, she is too kind and has told me she doesn't hold that against me but.. Alice sometimes looks at me with an odd look, and sometimes when I get near her she jumps away. Kara may have forgiven me, but Alice hasn't, and I can only imagine the other's haven't either... especially the ones who lost their lives because of me."

Hank set the records aside and pulled Connor into an awkward sitting hug. Connor let out a small 'oof' when he was pressed against Hank, but immediately wrapped his arms around Hank's waist and sunk into him. Hank ran his fingers through Connor's hair. "Connor.. you need to stop tormenting yourself like this.. It isn't healthy. Human's do it and it destroys them, I don't want to see you go through this either."

"You do it too..." Connor's reply came, and Hank let out a choked chuckle, for he felt tears stinging his eyes yet again. "I do, but this isn't about me. I came here because I care about you Con, and I am going to do what I need to to make you feel better."

Connor lifted his head to look up at Hank. "I wouldn't feel good if you helped me so much.. I would feel in debt to you too."

"Family helps one another Con, we don't look for reasons to one-up the other." Hank responded. Connor's eyes widened a bit at being called a family, he looked confused for a second, but leaned back into Hank and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you... Hank." Connor spoke softly.

"Anything for you, Con."

The two sat in the silent room, embraced in each other's comforts quietly, calming down and feeling relaxed as time slowly ticked away. Hank still hadn't manage to get Connor to explain why he never called, but from what he gathered, he had an idea as to the reason. He wouldn't push Connor any further at this point.

He just wanted to see the young man get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment my Lovelies!  
> Your thoughts help me be able to focus on writing a story that everyone will enjoy!


	6. Family

A bird screeched loudly, jolting Hank awake as he sat up. He and Connor had held onto each other well into the night, and both had fallen asleep, in their own ways of course. Hank groaned at the pain in his neck, he had fallen asleep leaning against the wall, and it made him sore. He glanced down and saw Connor laying on the floor next to him, curled up like a cat. He had a hand stretched out towards Hank, as if the two had fallen asleep with their hands together. Hank wasn't sure though, he was groggy and annoyed at the bird screaming right outside the window.

Sumo lumbered over upon seeing Hank was awake, licking the man's hand and wagging his tail. "Hey boy." Hank whispered, ruffling the dog's fur. Sumo moved over to sniff at Connor curiously, and Hank watched with interest. Sumo definitely loved Connor, and Connor was extremely fond of the old dog. Connor slept soundly, his body as still as any inanimate object. He hadn't noticed that Connor's chest would rise and fall while they talked, as if he was breathing. Hank assumed it was to blend in better with humans, but here he was, the perfect android he was. Perfect, with flaws just like everyone, but doing his damnest to get through them.

Hank stood up, groaning again at the cramps, before taking Sumo down the creaking stairs of the complex to go to the bathroom. As they stood outside near a dead tree, Hank took in the scenery. It was definitely the worse side of town, the kind where sketchy people lived and drug deals took place, but it was quiet and somewhat peaceful. Hank checked his watch and noticed it was six in the morning, part of him wished Connor had a bed so they could sleep longer.

Or if he had taken Connor back to Kara's place where he had a bed waiting for him. He knew Connor would have protest at that, he didn't seem to like being in Kara's house anymore than necessary. Considering that Alice was cautious of him and it made Connor remember his past, Hank could understand why.

Even though it wasn't his place, Hank felt like he should talk to Kara about what Connor revealed to him. He pondered on this until Sumo walked up to him and licked his hand, indicating he was finished with his business.

They made their way back to Connor's place, where Connor was already awake and putting away the box and record sleeves back in his closet.

"Good morning Lieutenant." Connor spoke, smiling softly. Hank smiled back. "It has been a while since you called me that, but I am not one anymore."

"That may be true, but you will always be one to me." Connor replied. He started walking towards the door, saying "we should get you and Sumo some breakfast. I know this great place downtow-" But Hank grabbed his wrist gently and silenced him.

"Con, we need to talk to Kara about what is going on with you." Connor frowned at him and pulled his wrist away. "No.. I told you I am not burdening her with that. There is nothing she could do anyway. My systems are malfunctioning and whatever parts we would need to fix me, we don't have. The black market is thinned out as it is with android parts... so.." Connor stopped, biting his lip. Hank understood and was angry.

"So, even if she did find the parts, you wouldn't want them to be used on you?" He spoke gruffly. Connor nodded, and Hank sighed. "Why do you put yourself down like this Con? You are worth so much, more than you could even imagine. You deserve to live just like all the other androids."

"NO, I dont!" Connor yelled, surprising Hank. Connor clenched his fists and looked Hank dead in the eye. "I have to bear the weight of my sins! I am a killer, a deviant hunter!" Saline tears began to pour out of Connor's eyes, trickling softly down his cheeks. "I have killed so many androids Hank! I have no right to be alive right now! They do! They did nothing wrong but want to be free, and I took that away from them!"

Connor was becoming undone, his systems were overheating and he was pressing his fists to his temples as he tried to cool down, but he was only becoming more worked up as memories of his past flooded inside him. Connor's hands were shaking.

"I...I have tried for so long to try to forget, but I know I can't, I shouldn't! I murdered the innocent!"

"Cyberlife was controlling you!" Hank yelled at him, gripping his arms.

"I LET THEM!" Connor yelled back, tears staining his shirt as he felt overwhelmed, staggering slightly. "I could h-have fought back! I could have made my own decisions.. but I didn't! I don't deserve to be alive!" Connor's eyes darted around the room, he was unconsciously searching for that crutch he had before, that cool metal that helped his senses forget about what was hurting him. He was angry that Kara had taken the knife away, that he hadn't taken another from work.

Hank was upset himself, they had just gone over this last night, about how destructive Connor's thinking was, and that Connor needed to move on. But hell, he still had past demon's that reached out their boney claws at him to tear him down, so he understood.

Hank wrapped Connor in his arms again, pulling the boy against him and trying to calm him down. Connor was struggling and letting out strangled cries as he tried to pull away, but Hank held firm.

After a few minutes when Connor had quieted down and was clinging to Hank's shirt rather than pushing at him, Hank ducked down to kiss at Connor's head. Connor froze at this and held his breath.

"Con... you mean the world to me, please, if not for your sake, for mine. Please stop tormenting yourself like this."

Connor stayed quiet, holding on as his processors slowed down and cooled off.

"I just... I can't feel OK with this.." Connor finally spoke. "I can't feel that it is right for me to be living when I took it away from others."

Hank moved a hand under Connor's chin to force Connor's eyes to meet his, their faces only inches away. "Con, do you know how many people those working for the law have killed? How many people we have killed that were innocent? Far more than you can imagine. The law is fucked up as it is, but we enforced it and did many things we shouldn't have. Even I did that. I ended up not being able to protect innocent lives and got them killed. I feel remorse and guilt for that, that is what makes me human. That is what makes YOU human too Con. But... you can't let that rule your life, you need to accept it, change, and move on."

Connor blinked, looking him in the eyes and Hank could just tell he was wondering where this came from, knowing Hank was just as self destructive as he was. Hank sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I am no good at this, depressing stuff makes me depressed too. You have seen how harmful I can be with myself, but I am trying to change. I am tired of living the way I do, and I want to do better. I want to see you get better too Con. I want to be here for you."

Connor bit his lip, adverting his gaze. Hank could tell he was still battling with his thoughts, and Hank wanted to get him out of the dark, depressing room Connor had subjected himself to for far too long.

"Come on Con, let's go to Kara's... I really think it would be a good start to tell her what is going on. To get help." Connor seemed against the idea, but seeing the soft look in Hank's eyes finally made him sigh and agree.

The two left and Hank summoned a cab to pick them up once they got to the main road. Sumo was happy to sit up front with the driver, who was also happy to welcome the big pup in his car. Hank and Connor sat in silence, Hank wasn't sure what to talk about.

The weather? Sports? Nothing was relevant. Connor was broken, was convinced that he should stay broken, and even though Hank was struggling with his own demons, he wanted to focus on getting rid of Connor's first.

After a few minutes, the cab pulled up to Kara's place, and Hank paid the driver and got out. He let Sumo out before noticing Connor was still sitting inside. Hank opened up the door to his side and offered his hand. Connor glanced at him, let out a shaky breath, and took his hand as he stepped out.

Hank had expected Connor to let go as they got closer to Kara's front door, but was surprised when Connor laced their fingers together and squeezed hard. Connor was nervous, biting his lower lip again to the point the synthetic skin was receding, showing off the soft white plate underneath.

Hank squeezed back and gave Connor a smile. "I can talk if you want."

Connor nodded. "I just... Kara already knows I am struggling, I don't want to pile more on her.."

"You are friends, I am sure she will want to help."

"You are right..."

Hank rang the doorbell, and a second later Alice answered.

She flinched slightly upon seeing Connor, which Hank noticed right away. Alice focused on Sumo who bounded inside happily, and she ran off to go play with him. Connor's eyebrows were furrowed and he looked sad, but Hank gave him another reassuring squeeze, before walking in.

"Hank! Connor! Welcome back. I hope you both had a fine night together." Kara called out as she walked down the stairs leading towards the entrance. She had noticed their hands together, but didn't say a word. She also noticed their expressions, and hers immediately turned serious. "You need to talk right? Let me make you breakfast Hank, we can talk in the kitchen."

Hank nodded and almost had to pull the reluctant Connor with him. Kara had Alice bring Sumo out to the backyard to play, while she made a breakfast sandwich for Hank. The duo sat down and Connor finally pulled his hand away from Hank's to place in his own lap. Hank and Kara had a small conversation while she made him food, Kara had gone to the Blackmarket the night before and got lucky with finding some thirium.

"It is very rare these days, I wish Cyberlife had not focused on making new androids that did not need them. They are well aware that free androids are in desperate need of it." Kara sighed, setting Hank's food down in front of him. She sat down across from the two and laced her fingers together.

"So.. What did you want to talk about?"

Connor glanced at Hank, much like a child does their parent when a Doctor asks what brought them in that day. Hank instead shoved his mouth full of the sandwich and gestured for Connor to answer. Connor glowered at him, and Hank couldn't stop the sly grin playing at his lips. He knew it was better for Connor to come clean than it was for him to explain. Kara focused her attention on Connor, and after some silence, Connor finally spoke.

At first he was hesitant, choosing his words carefully and not wanting to reveal too much, but in the end his emotions got the better of him, and with more tears streaming down his face, Connor revealed everything. The pain, the self-hatred, the guilt. Kara listened quietly, never once interrupting him, and Hank as well listened as Connor explained himself. Connor was upset, but he was more composed than he was in the apartment, so he was able to go into more detail about why he felt the way he did.

Connor finally finished, and wiped at his eyes. Hank had finished his meal and reached to squeeze Connor's shoulder. He knew they were getting more handsy than friends usually do, but the skinship they had was comforting and he had a soft spot for the android.

"Connor... I am so sorry that you have felt this way for so long." Kara spoke slowly, a sad expression on her face. "I do appreciate that you came to talk to me about it, even if Hank had to push you to do so. I consider you a friend Connor, and you know I hold nothing against what you did as a machine."

Connor nodded, wanting to protest that at some point, he did have empathy as a machine, but kept silent. "Alice... she, she is a child android, and was programmed to be as close to a real human child as possible. With that said, children are often left with a lasting.. impression of someone. Adults are able to easily forgive and forget, but children, especially when it comes to fear, hold onto that for some time. But Connor, you can't let that get to you, she will warm up to you, she already has a great deal... in fact." Kara stood up and walked away, into another room. She returned a minute later.

"Alice's class has been doing many art projects lately, and one of them was to draw their family. Alice told me she asked if friends could be considered family too, and the teacher told her it was OK. Alice drew this, and she really wanted to show you, but kept forgetting."

Kara handed a piece of paper to Connor, and Connor blinked as he stared at it. It was a picture full of stick figures. Alice was in the middle, a smaller stick figure than the rest. She was holding hands with Kara and Luther on both sides of her. Next to Luther was Rose and Adam, and on the other side of Kara was Connor. Connor pressed a hand to his mouth and felt a painful throb in his thirium pump. He was all out of saline.

"She... she drew me?" Connor asked, even though he could clearly make out himself, the brown hair with the unruly lock of hair that always strayed from the rest and lay itself against Connor's forehead. Kara nodded, smiling.

"Her reactions when she sees you is purely instinct that has drilled itself into her. She can't help it. She doesn't know how to properly express herself. She has told me she doesn't hate you, she considers you family, Connor. She was incredibly upset when we brought you here a while ago when you had slashed at your arm. She hated seeing you like that. She told me that herself. She does want to be a part of your life, but she doesn't know how to go about it. I have tried to encourage her but she is shy and unsure of herself. I think it would really help if you took that step forward to being with her. Get down to her level and talk to her, play with her, you both love Sumo so I think that would be a great start."

Connor was listening but his eyes were focused on the picture. He felt such happiness that Alice did not actually hate him. He was part of a family. A part of Kara's family, and a part of Hank's.

"Thank you..." Connor choked out, feeling incredibly drained and leaned against Hank as he continued to look at the drawing. Hank wrapped an arm around Connor's shoulder and smiled, glad things were going in a more positive direction.

"You are always welcome to stay here Connor.. I hate knowing you go back to that apartment, I know it is a place you can call your own, and that is basically what every android wants to be able to have, but it is not good for your mental health."

"I agree." Hank finally spoke. "I can't really speak for myself, my house is pretty damn depressing, but I have been thinking it was time to move on, buy a new place and start over fresh." Kara smiled. "That is a wonderful idea, where are you thinking? Do you plan to stay in Detroit."

"Hell no, it is only getting worse these days with the brutality against androids, I can't handle it. I had only thought of it, I hadn't made any plans. Though.. I thought here in Canada might be nice.." Hank drifted off, and he felt Connor twitch against him. He didn't want Connor to think he was going to watch his every move, though he was definitely considering it.

"Canada is very welcoming, I do believe you would enjoy it here. I am always happy to help you look for a place if you'd like."

Hank smiled at Kara. "That is very much appreciated. I will let you know what I decide."

Kara nodded, before turning back to Connor. "I cannot force you to do anything Connor, but here are my ideas of what I would like you to do, if you are willing to listen?"

Connor nodded.

"I want you to move in with us, into our other guest bedroom. I would like you to find a better job, more suited for your level of expertise. The bar, no offense to them, is beneath you. You have many more skills you can put to use to a job that you would truly enjoy, and no, I am not talking about working with the law again, I know you don't want to. Thirdly, I want you to meet with Amanda, she has changed a lot since the revolution. She no longer works for Cyberlife, but she lives with Chloe and has been helping a lot of androids through therapy. I believe therapy would help you, along with getting your system examined to find out what is causing you to forget. There must be something blocking your memories, an instability in your program. If anyone can find it, it is Amanda."

Connor looked at her reluctantly, but nodded again wordlessly. He wasn't aware about Amanda's recent activities, much less that Kara knew so much about it. Kara seemed to tell what was on his mind.

"Often many of the androids I treat here come with similar baggage that you do Connor. They are depressed, hurt, guilty, and so on. The first times I dealt with it, I had suggested therapy, but humans don't know how to properly help androids the way they do with other humans, so when I was trying to search for alternatives, I came across Amanda's website. She works with Chloe to help androids, and from the positive reviews I saw, I figured she was the best option."

Connor did a quick search in his program to find the website himself, noticing that Amanda had also moved her business to Canada. What a coincidence.

"Con..." Hank asked after a moment of silence. Connor turned to look at him. "Do you want to get better? Do you want to feel the way you do, or do you want to feel better? I will be here for you no matter what."

Connor pondered on this. He felt he didn't deserve to feel happiness, but deep down he knew that he needed to move on. He needed to live, not just for the sake of those who could not, but for himself. He did not want to die, he did not want to leave his family, or Hank and Sumo. They were separated for so long, and just the past day and a half was enough for Connor to not want to be separated again, and he hoped Hank felt the same way.

"I... I want to get better." Connor finally responded. Kara and Hank both smiled warmly at him, and Connor felt his thirium pump clench again at the kindness these two were showing him.

"I will contact Amanda about meeting her, you don't work today right?" Kara asked, to which Connor nodded.

Hank piped up. "What about you? Don't you work at a school?" Kara laughed lightly. "I am using some of my paid vacation, I work so hard that half the time they force me to leave." Hank laughed at that as Kara left the room.

Connor twisted in his seat to face Hank, Hank's arm was still around his shoulder.

"I.. I am sorry you have seen such an ugly side of me Hank." Connor spoke softly. Hank shushed him. "Stop that, you have seen my ugly sides too. You were the one being that brought light to my pathetic, dark world, so I want to do the same for you, if I even can."

Connor smiled at him. "You have already done so much. I appreciate the push you have given me to get help."

"Of course.. and don't for one second think it is weak to get help. If anything, that is incredibly strong."

"Why did you never do it?" Connor blurted out without being able to stop himself. Hank blinked and looked thoughtful as he glanced up at the ceiling. "Good question.. I guess maybe I thought I was fine without it. I was too good for it, even though deep down I knew I wasn't. I would say it was money issues but we both know that is a lie."

The two laughed at this, and Connor leaned against him again, welcoming the warmth that enveloped him.

"Will you really move here?" Connor asked.

"Do you not want me to?"

"It isn't that... I would like you to."

Hank smiled, pressing a kiss to Connor's head like he had earlier that morning. He couldn't see, but Connor was smiling at that and enjoyed the sensation of Hank's scruff scratching against his forehead.

"I did mean it when I said I wanted out of Detroit, and I really don't have anywhere to go, so this place would be a good start. Plus it means I would get to see you more." Hank spoke softly, in almost a whisper. Connor pressed against him, the two very aware of the sudden change in the air around them, aware of the feeling of each other's touches.

"I would like that..." Connor whispered.

Connor leaned back slightly to look up at Hank, their eyes met. Hank held his breath. He definitely didn't imagine it, He did feel an attraction towards the android. The way Connor's eyes softened and held such warmth in them made Hank wonder if Connor felt the same way. He leaned slightly towards Connor, and Connor shuddered.

'This is dangerous.' Hank thought. They were friends, partners in crime, two beings who shared similar pain, and yet Hank couldn't stop the feeling that he very much wanted to kiss Connor. He knew it wasn't the right time even if he did, just an hour ago he was agonizing over his pain and wanting to find a way to end it. For both of their sake, it just wasn't the right time.

But Hank couldn't stop that magnetic pull that made them slowly close that gap between them.

It wasn't until the clacking of Sumo's nails against the tile floor as he bound into the kitchen that made the two pull apart, Hank blushing incredibly hard. Connor adverted his eyes and clenched his teeth, realizing that he had also wanted to kiss Hank. He wasn't built with the ability to blush, but he certainly felt like he was. Sumo placed his head into Connor's lap happily, and Connor focused his attention on the saint bernard.

Alice came running after him, stopping short when she saw Connor. Connor gulped as he looked at her, before standing up, picking up the drawing, and moving closer. Alice didn't say a word as she stared up at him, and Hank watched the whole thing play out quietly.

Connor knelt down on one knee, and held out the drawing. "um.. Kara told me you drew this."

Alice nodded.

"You drew me.. right?"

Alice nodded again.

"It really means a lot to me.. I consider you family too.. Alice." He said slowly. Alice didn't say a word as she took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. Connor's eyes widened, before he dropped the picture and wrapped his arms around her.

Connor felt himself overjoyed at this rapid development, and couldn't stop the sob that choked out when Alice stood back and asked, "Will you be my big brother?"

Connor smiled warmly and full of love as he hugged her tightly against him again, feeling like he was finally starting to find those pieces of the puzzle he was searching for for so long.

"Of course I will Alice, I would be honored to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally it is taking a better turn! sorry the past few chapters, basically the very first to now have been so gosh darn depressing! i kinda just figured in my head, that Connor would be going through this turmoil of trying to move past from what he did as the deviant hunter, and dealing with the anxiety of trying to find where he belonged. Hank has his own demons but he is definitely trying to move away from them and i think the two can do this together!
> 
> anyway comment what you think, feedback is very much appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> I finally got Detroit become human about a week ago (yeah i know, 2 freakin years later) and i just absolutely adore Connor. he is my favorite of the androids and i just love his and Hank's relationship in the game. I looked up fanfics on these two and found an amazing artist named Jolli_Bean on archiveofourown who has dedicated their skills basically only to this ship. I adore their work and it made me want to write my own! i don't have nearly the level of skill they do, so if you like this, please consider checking out Jolli's works, they will blow your mind! 
> 
> anyway comment below what you think, comments make me happy and motivate me to continue (it shouldn't, but it doooo)


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